Saturday, September 4, 2010

Nowhere to go

Hi. Well it's been quite a day for me. I made a few decisions today that I hope were the right ones. I even made a new white board with my new set of goals which are completely different from the ones I had up. Besides getting into shape of coarse. My major concern and goal in my life right now is to regain my kids. I feel like that is the number one thing I need to achieve. I am their mom and need to be able to be their major source of support in many ways. So I swallowed my pride and anger and called my mom today. I explained to her what I needed and my plan to achieve that which is what I spent most of last night doing when I couldn't sleep. So we basically came to a decision that I am able to stay with her and move into my own place as soon as I get a job and a paycheck or two. Which is fine with me and what I had planned to do. So it solves alot of my issues that I have with daycare and helps me achieve my goal of going to school and being independent while allowing me to have my children with me.

I've been pretty wrecked over not seeing my kids this was inevitable. I feel so much better about things and am very optimistic that I can make things work and I'm very excited to be there for the first time when my kids get home from school. It's really been the little things about them that I have missed. Every motherly instinct that I have is screaming at me to be with them. It's gonna be hard but then again nothing worthwhile in life is easy. I'm also happy to get out of this god forsaken heat. I miss the cool mountain breezes and the pine trees. My bike is going to be my major source of transportation so the lower temperatures will be nice.

It's a major move I hope it's the right one. Moving is nothing new to me and I think the benefit that gives me is that I know what to expect especially in Prescott. So now I need to pack and work out how to get my stuff out there. I don't want to have to start over from scratch again and although I don't have much what I do have is very valuable to be. Except for that couch that smells like cat piss. That's going out to the dumpster tonight.

Not everything is going to go as planned and I'm expecting that. Getting where I need to be is going to take hard work and sacrifice. But there is one good thing about being at the bottom. I have nowhere to go but up.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

More pics from the Mayhem Festival 7/16/10

This was a funny one. I have no idea who this guy is. I was posing for a picture and he ran in yelling "PHOTO BOMB!"

Here's another one of that sick ass sunset

After being bombarded by the fire hose they had on everyone to stop people from starting major Bonfires

Another one with Sarah and Jamie

Having alot of time on my hands lately I've been steadily working my way through the books that I've accumulated over the past few months. I received this one as a late birthday present and hadn't had the opportunity to crack it open yet. Well yesterday I finished reading the Dean Koontz series that I had been working on. After turning the last page I got the feeling that I often get when I finish a good book. It's one of those hard to explain feelings. Its a sense of accomplishment and kind of a sadness all rolled into one. So I finished these books and I spotted this book laying on the floor by my bed. I picked it up as I hopped on my bed intending to read it till I got tired and then take a siesta. Well I should have known better. I spent the next hour and a half reading the story of Blockade Billy. It wasn't quite like the other Stephen King books that I've read (most of them). For one thing it was about 1500 pages shorter then most of his novels. It was more about human nature then about horror. It was about a major league base ball team in New Jersey, the Titans and their catcher, Billy. It was a great story with an unexpected ending. Well after finishing that story and the short story that followed it I flipped through the blank last pages to the back cover. I had asked my guy, who gave me the book, to write something in it before he left to go back home to FL. I wasn't allowed to read it till I finished the book. It was a great end to a great story.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I recently went with my older sister to the Mayhem festival and got to see some amazing bands play. Hatebreed, Five Finger Death Punch, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, and Korn were all playing. I had a great time and got to hang with some friends from way back. I finished off the roll of film that I took the concert picks on and got it developed today......jumping in some puddles of the way. Man I LOVE monsoons in Arizona.

Jamie and Sarah hammin for the camera.

This picture just doesn't do justice to the amazing sunset that came up that night

I also found some pics I took with Ben before he left and some pictures of Gizmo that I took to finish the roll.

Ben lookin real cool

Gizmo striking a pose :)

So all in all it was a pretty good day. Temps under 110, puddles to jump in what more could a girl ask for?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Welcome to my family Gizmo! As much as I said I would never get a little rat dog you are a pretty freaking cool dog.